shampooligan:

neilnevins:

shampooligan:

cartoon network’s internship application page is insane. there are so many bright neon colors and princess bubblegum is asking me if i’m a grad student

I interviewed for a position once and every time they flipped through my portfolio they made a Johnny Test whip crack noise

steven universe denied me health care benefits

hyenasnake:

whyisthisreality:

grays-galaxy:

business-pug:

siren-that-sings-owl-city:

wonderlandroundtwo:

amthsts:

patron-saint-of-smart-asses:

low-budget-mulan:

pkslider:

slavery:

How does anyone hate kids they are so funny I sold tickets to incredibles to this little girl and her mom and she’s like mom are we sitting next to each other and the moms like ya and the kid screamed YES so loud it broke my ears

The other day I was bringing an older gentleman up the hill in a golf cart and we drove past this huge YMCA group of kids like 100 kids

and driving past the first chunk like 10 of them yelled out “let me on” in unison and then since I’m driving so slowly to be safe, halfway in some kid leaned up and said “do you play fortnite” and I told him I played a little and he just pointed and shouted “THIS GUY PLAYS FORTNITE” and then like 20 kids started talking to me all at once about fortnite

A kid asked me if I lived in the ambulance. I said yes.

The hero we deserve

When I was on register at Kohl’s a little girl came through with her grandma and she was so very excited to tell me the meaning of her name (I think it was like warrior of god) and she begged her grandma for her phone so she could google to find out what my name means too

i wear two spinner rings on one finger and one time at my last job a young girl (probably 6-8) said “your ring is very pretty” and when i showed her it was two rings she GASPED and said “does that mean you’re marrying two people?!”

I have this necklace with a mermaid on it that I wear to work a lot and I got asked by a kid if it gave me magic powers. I leaned in real close and told her in a low voice it gave me magical girl powers but it was a secret. She got this real serious look on her face and said to her mom “that lady has superpowers, don’t tell anyone or the government will take her away”.

The other day i had to give a speech at my school despite my horrific fear of public speaking and afterwards i had kid come up to me and say well done to me. It was so cute.

god I love tiny kids

there was a kid in one of our science camps and he spent the whole week in a lab coat and goggles screaming “CHEMICALS” at the top of his lungs. he wouldn’t even tell us his name for the first two days just screamed CHEMICALS instead.

I was watching these kids at church today and one of them screamed and threw a toy car into the wall and it broke and the other one looked over calmly and said “does your insurance cover that?”

loving-women-is-rad:

tinatinabrown:

yrfriendliz:

http://www.wsj.com/articles/BL-LB-51793

This is honest to god one of the funniest things I think I have ever seen. The idea of giving a baby a theme party based on a local personal injury attorney is something i am so jealous of I dont know how to properly put it into words.

Also the fact that the lawyer didn’t come to the party somehow makes it even funnier.

this is the kind of content i came here for

he didnt come to the party because he sees the baby as a future opponent

frogmp3:

sasukesgaychangemymind:

frogmp3:

ladies don’t forget to fill up your water bottle and put it in the fridge before you go to bed tonight so you can have a drink as soon as you wake up tomorrow. men you can die i guess

BUZZFEED DO NOT INTERACT

…can i get an explanation for this post?!

buzzfeed put this post in a listcle so i added pictures so it would throw off the format of the article when embedded. and i like sasuke