kafukafuura1917:

kafukafuura1917:

politics of attraction discourse is fucking exhausting because you say like “i think its kinda fucked up when your parameters for considering somebody as a potential partner explicitly include MUST NOT BE TRANSGENDER” and people will immediately pretend that what you’re advocating is that cis people must be forced to have sex with trans people to prove their wokeness which is like obviously Insane, and like nobody in the lgbt left would give me a retort this absurd if i said
“i think its kinda fucked up when your parameters for considering
somebody as a potential partner explicitly include MUST NOT BE FAT” because everybody recognizes immediately that what’s being said is “immediately discounting a group defined by its oppression from your dating pool is intrinsically linked to that oppression” rather than “YOU NEED TO FUCK OPPRESSED PEOPLE THIS VERY INSTANT OR BE SENT TO PROBLEMATIC HELL”.

like when i say i will absolutely not date somebody if i find out they are a serial killer that’s fine, if i said i will absolutely not date somebody if i find out they’re in the autistic spectrum that’s fucking awful! its terrible! and everybody would understand this… but somehow this criteria doesn’t apply if you say its trans people who are 100% undateable for you… and frankly i’ve seen a lot of trans people try to reach a weird compromise about “genital preference” that basically boils down too “its okay to fully exclude trans women as potential partners no matter what, but don’t say it too explicitly” and i’m not super down with this kind of appeasement tbh.

on the other hand i’m a married woman with zero interest in dating any additional people so frankly it doesn’t affect me on a personal level but if my interest in transgender rights was purely based on personal gain i’d probably have some really fucking incoherent takes and i can’t stand being ideologically inconsistent, so yeah.

basically my issue is that a lot of the time when i see some trans people say “genital preferences are fine” the effect is less like “well i prefer dating people with brown hair but i wont automatically discount somebody for being blonde”  and way closer to “you’re allowed to fully discount trans people from your dating pool but don’t say its because they’re trans, just say you just don’t like their genitals, just pretend you’d hypothetically date somebody who underwent bottom surgery but don’t actually change your approach to trans people at all” and my concern is well, does it make any actual positive change to let cis people cover up their revulsion at trans people with euphemisms rather than actually  be critical about why they find us revolting? i understand that sometimes appeasement is necessary to avoid being utterly annihilated by a horde of pissed off cis people on the hell that is social media but lets not pretend that appeasement makes for a good political core.