Probably around 15 times a year ill go into the group chat with my main girls and I’ll go on and on about how I met a guy and they’ll get like super hyped, and usually one will be like “it’s not going to be that picture again is it” and in like “lololol no I wish tho” and I’ll keep it going telling stories about how we met at a screening of Toy Story and that he’s really cute and kind of muscular but not to jacked and they always ask to see a picture of him and I go “hold on let me pull up his Facebook” and in the end I always send a picture of this man, and they’re like “I hate you so much” and don’t talk to me for a while but i will never give up on this joke
my family fucked up my life by using spoonerisms interchangeably with their true phrase counterparts since before i was born and now i can’t escape from instinctively saying shit like “im gonna shake a tower”
oh “meeking a smee” made me feel like i was being fucking tazed
theres a lot of people on this website who dont realize their dad is a gnome
One time, I had a dream that I was making peanut butter chocolate chip cookies, and most of them were the regular measurements in cups and stuff. But at the end of the recipe, instead of saying “2.5 cups of chocolate chips” it said “627 chocolate chips.”
So when I woke up, I made some peanut butter chocolate chip cookies. And instead of measuring out chocolate chips, I counted them (and suffered a lot of odd looks from my family for it).
Well, it turns out that 627 chocolate chips is the amount that the recipe called for (2.5 cups). Not only that, but 627 was the exact amount of chocolate chips that we had left in the house.
bluntfiend's backup blog 